I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
