he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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