You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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