were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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