It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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