Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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