I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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