Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Randomize
