Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
