Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
