Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
