i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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