So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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