So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
