question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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