dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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