I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
All the doctor said was why
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
