Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
everyone is single if you try hard enough
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
