Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Randomize
