Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
