i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
How's work?
Spinning.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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