yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
