bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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