Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
