im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
