Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
