clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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