she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
