I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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