Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Tell her she can't have a vagina
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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