So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
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