there's paper in my vomit.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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