i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
