But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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