last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
