My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
