Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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