On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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