Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
