I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
