Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
