if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I heard we made out
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
