I think I am morally bankrupt
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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