have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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