A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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