I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Randomize
