i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
