Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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