hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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