Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
