What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize