Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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