They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
