she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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