idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
