It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
