I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
