Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
