last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
