awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
