I showed him my bush... on skype.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
