Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(678): View more from Georgia

Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.

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(614): View more from Ohio

I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.

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(216): View more from Ohio

The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.

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(970): View more from Colorado

ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...

(413): View more from Massachusetts

how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers

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(443): View more from Maryland

she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside

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(763): View more from Minnesota

I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask

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(303): View more from Colorado

You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.

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