Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Randomize
