Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
