2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
