Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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