I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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