Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
