You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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