Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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