I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Slut skills are useful in every country.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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