I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
