you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
