I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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