4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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