Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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